'Holidate' film review: Anti-rom-com subs in edgelord 'humor' for romance or comedy
Billed as the perfect anti-romance for anyone who has ever rolled their eyes at a holiday rom-com, 'Holidate' (premiering on Netflix Oct. 28) scrapes the worst aspects of the rom-com formula, becoming the worst version of the very genre it hates.
In short: Fed up with being single on holidays, strangers Sloane and Jackson (Emma Roberts and Luke Bracey) agree to be each other's platonic plus-ones all year long, only to catch real feelings along the way.
"Fucking holidays." That's the very first line of dialogue. And it's basically the only thing this cynical movie brings to the table. Rom-coms aren't so precious that they can't be satirized for their admittedly cookie-cutter approach, but 'Holidate' simply lacks any and all awareness. This movie - that mistakes cussing in front of kids or laxative-based poop humor as 'comedy '- actually looks down its nose at rom-coms, like its punching down.
'Holidate' simply exists to make fun of the thousand other rom-coms that came before it. This supposed antidote to every saccharine, formulaic rom-com that ever was ... is just a soulless, saccharine, formulaic rom-com ... that drops f-bombs and lazy innuendo. It desperately and broadly takes wild swings at the rom-com genre - while completely falling into every single rom-com trapping.
This is a movie without heart or intent - well, beyond just being an R-rated rom-com. Crass and vulgar is completely fine - provided it commits to one of two decisions: it's so absurdly over-the-top that its sheer audacity is hilarious or there's an undercurrent of humanity beneath the cursing and rude antics. 'Borat: Subsequent Moviefilm' does both superbly - 'Holidate' does neither adequately. It's attempts at "R-rated" humor are flaccid and uninspired. Spoiler alert: the two leads eventually fall for each other -- but there's virtually no reason for it. There's simply no moment of connection on any level beyond two immature perma-singles just mocking all the stupid, happy people around them.
To this movie’s credit: at least it mercifully has a story structure where the finish line is always in sight. 'Holidate' bounces from holiday to holiday, tracking the not-dates of two less-than-likeable characters as they ostensibly hang out on New Years Eve, Valentine's Day and etc. The film ends pretty much exactly as anyone would expect - so it's a kindness that the story has a built-it device that lets the audience know: just hang tight, this POS is almost over.
Final verdict: Behold the least romantic, least funny movie of 2020 - a holiday rom-com that hates holidays, has no awareness of romance and mines 'comedy' from laxative-based shit gags.
Score: 1.5/5
'Holidate' streams on Netflix on Oct. 28. This romantic-comedy has a running time of 103 minutes.
